Wednesday, September 7, 2011


A long hiatus. Some major life changes and upheavals. Serious stuff.

So a serious post for serious times.

A few months back I noticed an interesting phenomenon. I'm not sure whether it's genetic, sociological, or just my imagination, but Danes do an awful lot of brow-furrowing. At first, I chalked it up to their coloring - nearly universal blue eyes, more than (the American) average amount of blonde hair, skin so white it could be causing reflective glare. But to be sure, I checked on cloudy days, in the shade, and indoors only to determine that it is a national facial expression somewhat akin to the identical horror/shock face on all the vacuum packed fishes' faces in the refridgerated grocery case.

Trust me, you'd be wearing this expression too.
In all situations, regardless of the weather, amount of natural or artificial light, or nature of the conversation, a distinct line emerged between the eyebrows of almost all Danes at some point during my highly amateur anthropoligical investigation.

As with all good scientific theories, I referred back to my trusty research ally, Google, and also Facebook for this project, for some highly scientific confirmation. [In an effort to preserve anonymity, and of course respect, for my unwitting subjects, the majority of facial elements have been eliminated, save the one in question.]

Here are just a handful of my examples.

Søren Pind, Denmark's Immigration Minister
I said I would remove facial features. I never said anything about names...

Future eader of the free (Danish) world = double furrow
Possible evidence that boxing knocks the furrow on a slant.
The universal wearing of this expression has lead me to some deep thoughts about what exactly it is that Danes are so serious about. They have been called the happiest people in the world. I don't generally tend to equate brow furrowing with happiness. Maybe stress, duress, confusion, disbelief.

Like this guy, who certainly has a lot to be furrowing over these days.
This was not in the job description...
I am feeling a new pie chart coming on. It has been long overdue. It shall be titled, "Things Danes Think About When Furrowing Their Brows" as I am interested in asking and discovering the answer to this question. I am pretty sure none of the responses will be the monumental loss of value of certain personal retirement accounts, the ridiculously exorbitant cost (more akin to extortion) charged by Montessori preschools, or road rage... Just an amateur guess.

So, "Hej igen Danmark." I'm back. It's time to get serious.